We are home from our family reunion in KS. Hmm, if you are asked to travel 800+ miles with 2 small children, think very thoroughly on it. We did it and survived, but barely. My kids were great and enjoyed themselves and it was wonderful to see cousins, aunties, uncles and GG again. But, if you find yourself facing several plane rides and you want to know how to prepare, here are some tips.1. Go immediately to your family physician and tell him or her that you need some Xanax. All you have to do is tell them you are flying with your children and they should understand. Now, they may want to know if you need that in an adult or pediatric dose. I'd recommend adult.
2. Find a very confined space in your house. The inside of a kitchen cabinet should do. Crawl in there, put the baby in your lap and a carry-on bag at your feet. Sit in there at least 2 hours at a time, longer if your flight is transcontinental, or heaven forbid, overseas. If you really want to recreate and practice for your trip, put your toddler in the cabinet next to you and make sure you stay in there until he has to pee.
3. You're gonna have to go through security. Put one of your kids in the stroller and load it with the diaper bag, a car seat, and various sundry items. Pinch the other kid to make sure they are crying. Now unload the stroller with the crying kid on your hip. Slip off your shoes and get all of the stuff on your kitchen counter as fast as humanly possible. Yes, that includes folding the stroller and putting it up there too. Don't drop the baby. If you cannot perform this feat in 10 seconds you are too slow. For effect, record yourself grumbing and making impatient noises and replay it in the background as you are trying to perform the described act of God. Oh and I forgot, you have to remove your childrens' shoes and ensure that the one walking free doesn't dart off when you aren't looking.
4. Decondition the baby to having a warm bottle by slowly cooling the temperature with each feeding. She should be able to slurp down a bottle made with water from a water fountain without complaint. Asking for hot water in an airport terminal is like asking for free food. Good heavens we don't give out hot water. Breast feeding? Lucky you. Just make sure that you are used to doing it with people gawking because there certainly isn't anyplace remotely private from the time you leave your car in the parking deck until you get in the car picking you up in the airport. Now, if you don't mind nursing the baby while sitting on a commode, you are golden.
5. Invest in a good, sturdy DVD player and some headphones as well as some mindnumbing kid DVDs. No, I'm serious here. You won't regret it.
6. Just stay home. You'll thank me for that little tidbit later.
Hope these tips help.
